Friday, April 24, 2009

Weds & Thurs April 22nd & 23rd - What I'm Eating

Today a friend made the remark that since I hadn't been posting on here, she figured it was because I was not eating anything I'd want anyone to know about...or something to that effect...

That is the honest truth - all the rest of the excuses are true too, but they are really excuses. I have been eating so poorly for the most part, that I am humiliated to make a record of it. But that is the point of this blog, isn't it? I do have to thank my sister Hannah, who actually follows through and pesters me when I don't post! Its a bit of a social contract we have going on here - I agree to humiliate myself, and occasionally provide good recipes or other useful information, and you harass me if I avoid it!

OK, so I don't fully remember everything I ate yesterday and today because its been 48 hours of snacking sinfulness. Not to mention, I am sure most of the time I was in a sugar-induced stupor. I'll do my best to remember most of what I consumed, but I can't promise the order. I do promise not to leave out the bad things.

Weds
- 6 pieces of cinnamon toast (the kind with way more sugar than cinnamon), but at least it was on Ezekiel bread, with pasture butter (and no, I didn't eat them all at once - think Breakfast, Lunch, and Snack...)
- 2 more grocery store beef tamales
- orange juice (I really shouldn't drink it because I can actually feel my blood sugar go up)
- 3/4's of a Panchero's chicken quesadilla with black beans - a white flour tortilla of course
- Cold Stone Creamery Coffee Lover's Only ice cream - at least I went for the small size...

Thurs
- kefir smoothie - peaches, banana, raw egg, honey
- potato salad - two helpings
- another salad containing tuna, white beans, cucumbers, bell peppers, tomatoes, and I'm not sure what else
- bread with olive oil and tomato puree spread
- a few pieces of fruit, incl cantaloupe, honeydew, pineapple and grapes
- a piece of carrot cake
- apple crisp with a bit of yogurt (plain)
- an entire bag of Werther's caramel candies
- an entire bag of Riesen chocolate candies
(just to confess some more, I ate a whole bag of Swedish Fish and a whole box of Mike and Ike's the other day on the way home from Iowa City - I think I mentioned it before but that is the full extent of it...)
- whole wheat crust quiche with green peppers, ham and cheese (at least it was homemade - yes, I got my oven cleaned...and the dishes too)
- a few carrot chips and some cheese curds

Analysis:
I know, I'm a sick puppy. I revert to eating candy when driving long distances (I drove to Lincoln and back today) when I'm sleep deprived. I'm sleep deprived because I don't go to bed until 1 or 2 am. I don't sleep well even when I do go to bed because of worrying and feeling guilty, and having colds. I'm sure I always have colds because of a lack of sleep and too much sugar... And I revert to eating lots of sugary stuff when I am stressed out... considering we may be facing an out of state move within a matter of a couple of weeks and we don't know for sure yet, among other things, I've been a little stressed.

OK, so I am starting over, no more excuses. What I need is focus! TMI ALERT: I talked before about thinking about trying for another baby - well, today is the start of a brand new cycle, therefore a brand new chance at that. I'm shifting my focus onto that. I'm going to start taking all my supplements again. And exercising. And going to bed earlier. And above all, swearing off sugar. And white flour. Baby. Baby. Baby. Whoever is out there, I need your support!!! Come pester me on Facebook if I show signs of weakness!!! Or call me - its lonely doing battle with the sugar monster... I want to write "CHARGE!" but I all can muster at the moment is ... here we go again ...

4 comments:

  1. Yay! Good job for diving in again! You can do it! baby, baby, baby...

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  2. An out of state move within a couple of weeks?! We SO need to catch up!

    I thank you for your honesty on this blog. I wish you the best of luck in your baby making venture! I hope it doesn't take long and that you'll be expecting soon! :)

    See you Sunday at my guy's birthday party!! :-)

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  3. Holly, you're human! don't beat yourself up so much! I'm right there with you on the sugar addiction. I use it to keep myself awake too. I love you blog because it gives me such great information and meal ideas so definitely keep it up! I actually started one with my sister. Well it's more of a weight loss blog but we are posting diaries and I am trying to cut out sugar, white flour, processed food, yada yada. I'm worse than you though and I'm too humiliated to make it public! So keep it up because there are some of us out here who look up to you!

    p.s. what's this about a move??

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  4. Hey, dlr - I love you and I am proud of you! Keep striving. Every day is a chance to do better. Would like more info on this stressful, potentially quick "out of state move" when you get a chance... xo

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